Tuesday, July 11, 2006

~:B E D * R E S T * T H E R A P Y:~

Doug brought three trashy gossip mags home with him yesterday. I get a call from him, "I got a great stack of mags here I want to run by you: Time, Fortune, National Geographic, Better Homes & Gardens, etc."

A- "No, too serious. Like I actually want to LEARN something about the world? Ha."

D- "OH, right. How about more fashiony girly stuff like, Vogue, Self, Cosmopolitan?"

A- " You think I want to look in a mirror and compare myself to all those beauties with flat tummies and shoes, walking around in the open air, enjoying themselves? No matter how well I shower or do my makeup, being in bed and reclining never makes one look beautiful. Bed head cannot be fixed when you've got short hair, hon."

D- "Oh, right. I see. Nothing character building or motivating in any kind of way, shape or form. Maybe I'm in the wrong section of CVS.

A- "Try up front where the candy, batteries and mints are."

D- "Oh, where all the impulse purchases are?"

A- "Y E S. The crap that makes everyone ELSE look bad. The gossip. The trash."

D- "Star, People, Us? "

A- "Perfect."


Mo said...

man, trash mags, chocolate and ordered bed rest? can life get any better!you can see i'm bored too. i should be balancing the company checking accounts, my least favorite job, and here i sit surfing the net and checking in on you. the girls and i are going to head off to San Marcos, about a 3 hours trip, and do some serious shopping at the outlet malls this weekend. a little weekend away just us girls before school starts. will send pics of our adventure! keep up the good work!

Anne Elser said...

Ooooo Barb, that sounds like SO much fun!! Wish I could join you. Screw the checkbooks - it's time to shop! I will live vicariously through you and your adventures. :)

Mary Campbell said...

I have to admit....trashy magazines are a guilty pleasure of mine...I love InTouch....it's all shitty pics of Brittany Spears, Nicole Richie (sp), Jessica Simpson and every other current star on their way to or from Starbucks toting a small child and a Lois Vuitton bag. Those magazine make me feel smart.

Anne Elser said...


And speaking of Brittney Spears, how stupid was it of her to conduct that interview WITHOUT the help of a stylist? I mean fer fuckssake, girl! Use yer head!!

I had no idea Nicole Kidman was getting married, either. They actually look like they belong together more than she and Tom Cruise did. AND Tom and Katie also look more alike.

See? I'm getting the hang of it here. I am turning into a petty, small-minded and self-absorbed brat. :)

Doug Elser said...

I would like to point out that Anne took generous artistic liberties with the content of our conversation as outlined in the blog entry of record. In the future, such egregious mischaracterizations of our verbal engagements shall constitute a slanderous personal affront, leaving me with but tortuous remedies to redeem my tarnished identity.

That, or I could just not get her any more chocolate.

Jason said...

Anne, I'll come visit you, and drop off those movies. Ian would love to spit up on your shoulder. Let me know your address...

Anne Elser said...

Jason! I would love that. Sending address now....