Thursday, August 24, 2006

Promise and Price:

More contractions last night. They're keeping me for another 24 hours. Shoot me now because I so want to be left alone and am sick of this hospital - tired of being a patient. Tired of being asked to be patient. Had a troublesome nurse last night that I wanted to strangle. We had her replaced with someone who actually spoke english. Isn't that nice? A nurse who speaks english.

I am learning how to be pushy. Good practice for motherhood, I think.

I am anxious. If one more person tries to comfort me once more with the promise of all being well soon - that I'm doing all this for my baby, that it'll all be worth it and to not worry because of the promising future, I will scream. The promise and the price of achieving my goal are 2 completely different simultaneous experiences. One does not negate the feeling of the other, or relieve the pain.

I feel trapped and I trust no one.

Say a prayer for me? I'll keep you posted.


Harpy said...

Oh Anne, boo. Hospital confines are the pits. Except for the food. I have a strange obsession with hospital cafeterias/pudding. Good Luck, we'll be thinking about you in NY!

minus five said...

anne, if you need a bodyguard or someone to regulate the hospital workers for you, i can help. i have a long history of expertise in bossing nurses around and protecting patients. maybe you should start carving things these people say into driftwood. then you can give it to them as a gift and tell them to shove it up their medical ass.

a: i only secretly like things that are pre-packaged in cafeterias. if i'm ever in the hospital, people are going to have to smuggle me some real food.

Anne Elser said...

Sarah - your post just made Doug chuckle. That was a good one. I am sending him to Michaels right away for the driftwood project. You know what I'd love to do is to personally give and IV while blindfolded to every nurse who offers me one or shakes her head when she notices I don't have one.

They tried to monitor Bimp's heart rate and mine is so loud, it's overpowering his. I am that mad and nervous.

They have just given me Ativan.


minus five said...

i think if nurses acted that way to me, i would just pee all over the bed and floor so that they would have to clean it up. think up all the things you would love to do to them; that will make you laugh. then it will be a challenge to restrain yourself from taking action.

hopefully you'll get a good nurse soon that you can hang on to. or maybe they'll just let you out.

Tania Rochelle said...

I'm so sorry, Anne.

Ativan is good, though. It should help.

And blog about your nurse revenge fantasies.

minus five said...

if all else fails, you could just call tania over and she could depress you further with stories of dead dogs and cheating husbands. you could also punch her in the face a lot and stick iv's in her arms. let me know if you're interested and i'll send her over right away.

Tania Rochelle said...

I'd go. If it would help.

Mary Campbell said...

I think everything would be JUST fine if she had Baton Bob as her nurse. Nothing is more healing to the mind and soul than a large black man in spandex twirling a baton.

k said...

oh MAN.
I am so sorry Anne.
I'm with A on the pudding. And I recommend watching a lot of The Young & the Restless.