Friday, December 18, 2009

12 Reasons Why I'm No Longer A Christian

Been digging deep within my ego child's mind in the Enlightenment therapy/training stuff I'm doing. This list came from my coach Debra, who has really saved my life. You all have heard/read about her before on this here beelog.

I recently got into a scrap with a man who used to be my "wizard" of sorts - the man who thought of me as the daughter he never had, and whose ideas about god, politics, and religion I adopted as my own from about the age of 4. This choice of mine really wasn't a choice - but an offer of safety. We grow up mimicking our elders, thinking that if we model ourselves after them, our world makes sense, because it is all we know.

I realize now how trapped I was in a religious environment modeled after the idea of morality, humility, sacrifice and guilt. It was literally poisoning me. Today, I let go of its curses.

Now that I've realized I've survived my childhood and no longer need protection from god, the church or anyone, I see this world with such different eyes and with that, comes a new self.

I have had two children in my life. The first was my son Anton. The second is my new Self. The one who is everything there is, everything I am. And it's all up to me. Wow. What freedom there is in that statement.

I still have a lot of anger to sift through as I reclaim my own beliefs and create my own life. But I am on my way. Through. And shining the entire time.

Here goes the list:
Some Basic Axiomatic Positionalities of the Ego
from Reality and Subjectivity by David R. Hawkins

1. Phenomena are either good or bad, right or wrong, just or unjust, fair or unfair.
2. The "bad" deserve to be punished and the "good" rewarded.
3. Things happen by accident or else they are the fault of somebody else.
4. The mind is capable of comprehending and recognizing truth from falsehood.
5. The world causes and determines one's experiences.
6. Life is unfair because the innocent suffer while the wicked go unpunished.
7. People should be different than they are.
8. It is critical and necessary to be right.
9. It is critical and necessary to win.
10. Wrongs must be righted.
11. Righteousness must prevail.
12. Perceptions represent reality.


Lisa Holtzman said...

12 very good reasons. I'm happy you have found your new (or is it real?) SELF.

Anne Elser said...

Thank you for saying so, Lisa! Definitely the real self.

Daniel M. Wright said...

Interesting read. Wondering about the wizard. Do I know him?

Anne Elser said...

That depends. Do I know you? Where have we met??