Thursday, September 07, 2006
~)THIS WEEK ITS ANGER:~ Great thing about Bimp is that he's SUCH an olympic performer, his movements can cause my uterus to contract. He did this ALL day today and gave me enough contractions to send me to group on a bed with wheels, (what do you call those things?) and with the Bimp induced contractions, came spotting, which was managed by the most lovely mesh underpants (one size fits all) sporting a glorified incontinence pad which is always fun to wear when you're pregnant. I was one of three on a bed - two had walking privileges and the rest were in wheel chairs.
Last week at our meeting, the most common emotion expressed was fear and anxiety. This week was ANGER. Surprised? I sure wasn/t, 0 (I think the Ambien they just gavem me to send me to bed esrlier i is kicking in cause I asked for an earlier bedtime from such an eventful day. We were monitored for over an hour and after giving me a shot of of "no contracto" -I think they call it breathine or something, and while it settles tihhings dwn in your uterous, it makes the rest of you shake 0 your arms and legs ad they make your amrs a legs tremble.
This nurse said iit isn't every day tha she sees a baby who moves arunf as muv a bimp does. She ewas cracking up trying to keep up with him and hs shify movements. This baby is a movemt rockstar. He crcks all the nrses up!
An amnio would be difficult though whit him moving around so much. I want iit to go fast and I am NOT looking at the needle or he monitir - i will only hold doug's hand.
Nad sing soemthing from the sound of music.
we moved my bed around in the room today and its looking more better. little moe human. I can see trees and buildings, not just condtruction.
I do not wnat to be afraid. I hpe during all of it, people talk to me cofmroting with smiling eyes so i can relax enough to trust them and let them take over. I want a peacful expereicne without pain.
please pray for me. I am so afraid. i would like to not be afraid but more curious about thie c ool new exocerience , i want more curious sense of wonder than one of fear and dread.
I need to trust people more.
The most beautiful thingd in this room are all in the family of red and pinka nd orance. Flowers and fruit that turn color at night against the sparkly lighte outside. A nice contrast. Hospitals don't have a lit of red things in view, do they? I think they've used warm teal as a mane color. Beige, tan, woodgrain. Hmmph. They need dsome pink and reds and salmon colors in there - yellw ochres and bright crisp whites for contrast. Some sangria would be really nice,
I love my husband, guys and am doing all this nonsense for him. He is such a good man. So open to change a nd working through stuff and making sacrifices. he has an awareness of himslef thhat helps him keep growing.
I think I am going to sleep in tomorrow on this new mattrsss. and will letl you know if it settles bimop down and myself, as well.
no more contracto bimp! uyou stay put!