Wednesday, August 15, 2007


Well, this is pretty amazing. I've complained about all the Post Secrets I've send to Frank Warren in the past, that never seemed to have been chosen. But I got an e-mail from a friend who saw this one and recognized one of the post cards featured in the new PostSecret video as mine. The timing could not have been more perfect. As I spend this month remembering Tommy and posting HIS secrets, one of MINE about him has been revealed. If you watch the video, you'll get to see the back of the card, which I never bothered to scan in.



DougieFresh was sitting next to me as we watched this video together. Wow, he said. Isn't it cool to think of all the people who see your secret and who've lost a sibling to suicide... maybe getting some comfort knowing they're not alone. Or even cooler to think of anyone contemplating suicide having second thoughts after seeing how deeply it affects those who love you.

So I don't know. I try to respect his decision and honor his choice. But of course, there is a big part of me that thinks I could have done something to prevent it. That I have something to be sorry for. That I wasn't a good enough sister. It is a tragic pit to sink into - that guilt you chose to wear, rather than facing the fact that we are powerless to change others.

So I thank you, Frank. Thank you for gently nudging us closer to our own thruths.

10 comments:

aud said...

congrats anne! I knew your time would come. Your card is beautiful. very powerful.

Angie said...

I definitely saw it sunday. i knew it was yours with that beautiful calligraphy. thank you for sharing.

ktothefe said...

Anne,

This is so moving and truly powerful. Thank you so much for posting it up. It touched my heart. Thank you.

Anne-Davnes said...

Thank you Aud! And it's so cool that you recognized it Angie. And thank you and you're welcome Kevin.

jessica said...

i was trying to leave a comment last night and found myself fresh out of words. your postcard is so simple and so . . . sad? bittersweet? contemplative?

i obviously don't have words! anyway, it is a reminder for us all to be open and honest to the world.

Anne-Davnes said...

thanks jessica. I really don't have the words, either. And when I do, they're plain and simple.

minus five said...

that is incredible. your card and that video. thank you for how honest and open you have been about your brother all this time on the blog. it makes me think about a lot of things that i need to think about.

and as a sidenote... how about postcard #1 on the video. dang. that's a whole project and book and movie and lifetime of wonder. someone who pretended they died on 9/11. it makes me wonder why, but even more, how. i really can't imagine.

MCALDWELLC said...

There is nothing worse than the pain of regret....to constantly have that nagging "what if I would have...." self-reflexive question rolling around in your head day after day.

You are an amazing and beautiful person and, just like the rest of us, you do the best that you can...I think that is all that we can ask of ourselves and each other. To do our best...and to be kind to one another.

Thank you for that beautiful post.

Kevin M. Scarbrough said...

I read Post Secret religiously. Reading them helps me deal with my own shit, even if I can't stand the thought of sharing my own.

Anne-Davnes said...

Thank you Minus. Thank you Mary. And I know what you mean, Kevin. Writing about this helps a lot. I think dark secrets are toxic when they're not shared. They turn inward, they're transformed into shame. That's the magic of PostSecret, though. Nothing's resolved when you unzip your worst fears. But you are lengthened and somehow lighter. I like to call that grace.