Anne-Davnes Elser

~:H E R E • T O • S T A Y:~

Well.

I'll be here for a while. I actually (can't believe I'm saying this) am a little relieved. After having been an unwilling participant in recreating the set of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre in our bedroom Monday night (I shit you not), I am a bit relieved to be in an environment of trained professionals poised for such an emergency. In short, I am in good hands here at the Hospital.

So no more classes until well after Bimp is born and I am back at school. I'll be taking the rest of this quarter off (but please continue to e-mail me work if you need a second opinion on your pieces or um, if you just miss me). I already miss you guys. Hmmmph. We had a ladies brunch shower for Bimp planned later in September that will have to be postponed until after Sir Bimp's arrived.

But Bimp is fine. He's REALLY fine in fact. Scores very well on all his tests. I'm fine, too. Just kind of walking on eggshells. This dern placenta is such a pain in the ass. I"m not in any pain, I'm just nervous. The thing about previas is that they're so unpredictable. The best we can do is be prepared for another bleed. Which is why I'm here. They are not necessarily linked to bleeding because of a direct response to my movement. But in general, the less I move, the better. Walking and stair stepping irritate the cervix, which is this thing that thins out and stretches in preparation for birth. Normally, the placenta is well behaved. It implants up high in the wall of your uterus and provides food and oxygen from your body to the baby. When it decides to implant lower, it can be completely covering the cervix or even if it's next to it, it can cause problems. The very edge of mine is covering the cervix. So it's a problem. It bleeds unpredictably, which can cause contractions that lead to premature delivery or I could bleed to death. Not pretty.

So I am here on this bed. The doc told me this morning he'd feel safer if I were here. I should be supervised 24 hours a day. He said we could schedule a c-section delivery as soon as 26/27 weeks. That's the end of September! That's so close! But so far away. Since I'll be here for a while, they have put me on the list for a larger room. This is an exciting development.

A bit about my scehdule: Every Friday, Happy Tails comes for a visit (well-behaved therapy doggies with their owners. Every Thursday, I have the option of being wheeled to a support group somewhere on this floor and would get to meet the other patients here. I am really looking forward to that. Adult visiting hours are from the morning til around 9PM. I would welcome any visits from any of you. I'm in room 133, when that changes, I'll let you know. The room phone is 404.459.1133. Just call and let me know when you're coming. And if you can - do what sweet Tania says and bring chocolate, cheetos, milkshakes (fresh cut fruit and veggies are great, too) - whatever! I have a mini fridge in my room. :-)

Today I was visited by two dogs and their owners from Happy Tails. A nice diversion. Mom and Dad came by, too. I got a shot of steroids. That was fun. I've had more fun with Ambien. Expect a list of interesting phrases Doug recorded during one of my hallucinations soon. I get to have two every night. Boy, do I sleep well. I can also have this stuff called Ativan. That one's fun, too. Not as strong but really takes the edge off reality. So very handy.

Another thing I am learning to do is to be more assertive about my well being. There's something about being in a bed that inhibits my ability to look out for myself. I just assume that everyone around me knows more than I do and that I am not to question anything. Makes me feel like a child. In my last post, I mentioned a nurse from hell. Her name is Marva. Feel free to send a condescending curse or two her way. I got up the guts to complain about her and as it turns out, I am not the only patient who was upset by her. She got me SO upset, that when she monitored me, I had contractions which were exaggerated by her tom foolery - a bad idea. I'll post the whole story for you guys soon. It will be a fun one to tell. Long story short is that I was able to request not to be seen by her ever again. I am very happy about that.

Oh! One more thing is that I am seen by a handful of doctors (depends on whose on call, etc) but they're all from the same group. My head doc is named Dr. Feng. He's cool. AND a MAC user. He advised me this morning that Apple put out a recall of batteries (there were a few that have overheated)- mine qualifies. "Just don't rest it on your belly" he said.

I'm quite moody these days. I guess that's natural. My toilet backed up this morning and I just about jumped out the window when they said, "Don't worry - we'll bring you a bed pan if you need it." FUCK THEM. I kept calling until someone came to fix it (within an hour). That was great. But it took another hour for them to get out here to mop the floor. Hmmph.

I CAN say that the majority of nurses and staff have been tremendously supportive. But because I am so limited, even the tiniest inconvenience is very upsetting. Sometimes I feel like listening to me must be like watching an episode of Deadwood. COCKSUCKKURS!

Above is a new picture of Bimp. I get to hear him twice a day. So far have had 3 ultrasounds since we arrived Monday night.

I think that's about it for now. I miss everyone. I can't wait to be a Mommy. I can't believe I'll be out and about in 2 months with a baby in my arms, a cooler breeze in the air, maybe a sweater over my shoulders, a husband by my side, Bjorn at the end of a leash, ON my feet and not walking on eggshells. Glorious, glorious vision, I must say.