Saturday, December 15, 2007
Saying Goodbye To Bjorn
This is a sad post. And I guess what I want most from all of you is reassurance.
You all know Bjorn can lash out when he feels threatened. He felt trapped the other morning by Anton in our kitchen and almost bit him. Luckily Doug got in the way and was able to get Anton away from him. So that's the last straw. We're having to give him back to the breeder. Bjorn will most likely live out his life there with the pack of other small dogs. But he will be happier there than with me. He'll get more attention there and will be with stronger pack leaders.
I just can't risk Anton getting injured by him. I feel so guilty, tho. So inept. A failure. I love that little dog so much. My Monkey Mouse. Bjorn was the first dog I really loved. Deeply. And I feel so guilty and ashamed of my trying to humanize him. I hope he has a happy life in spite of my irresponsibility. I feel it's even more irresponsible to keep him out of my own need to be loved and licked by this sweet creature. I feel so weak. I feel like I've damaged Bjorn. I should have never gotten him in the first place. I'm a better cat person than a dog person.
I am doing the right thing, right? We take him tomorrow. Last night was agony. Yesterday was agony. Today will be worse unless I can think of some positives in this dark situation.
I will miss him so much at school. I will miss him in the car. I will miss him everywhere.