Saturday, December 15, 2007

Saying Goodbye To Bjorn


This is a sad post. And I guess what I want most from all of you is reassurance.

You all know Bjorn can lash out when he feels threatened. He felt trapped the other morning by Anton in our kitchen and almost bit him. Luckily Doug got in the way and was able to get Anton away from him. So that's the last straw. We're having to give him back to the breeder. Bjorn will most likely live out his life there with the pack of other small dogs. But he will be happier there than with me. He'll get more attention there and will be with stronger pack leaders.

I just can't risk Anton getting injured by him. I feel so guilty, tho. So inept. A failure. I love that little dog so much. My Monkey Mouse. Bjorn was the first dog I really loved. Deeply. And I feel so guilty and ashamed of my trying to humanize him. I hope he has a happy life in spite of my irresponsibility. I feel it's even more irresponsible to keep him out of my own need to be loved and licked by this sweet creature. I feel so weak. I feel like I've damaged Bjorn. I should have never gotten him in the first place. I'm a better cat person than a dog person.

I am doing the right thing, right? We take him tomorrow. Last night was agony. Yesterday was agony. Today will be worse unless I can think of some positives in this dark situation.

I will miss him so much at school. I will miss him in the car. I will miss him everywhere.

7 comments:

AK said...

My brother gave up his career for his kids. Nothing is more important.

Anne-Davnes said...

Thank you for your thoughts. Doug and I have
decided to wait a week before we make a decision. I have been
very lax about giving Bjorn what he needs to stay balanced.
HIs primary need is a 30 minute walk a day. Without that, he
feels like a prisoner. Secondary need is for me to really LEAD him.
That is, he needs to feel protected and know I am in charge.
The last need is for affection. When you give that first and too
much of it, you get a bratty dog.

SO I am going to spend this week trying my hardest to shift
the environment here so it's safer and happier for everyone.
I will keep Bjorn in his place and keep a sharp eye out for both
of them.

Please don't worry about Anton's safety. I'd die if anything
happened to him. And I will NOT let anything happen to him.

There is a part of me that knows I can make this work. I have
not yet given it my very best try. Please support me as I go
through this.

It feels so wrong to let Bjorn go without trying to make it work first.

maryk said...

OH!!! I'm so glad. I've been so bummed all day, and finally decided to write something, hopefully encouraging. But am glad to hear of the week of trying things. I know you aren't sending him off to a terrible place or anything, but it's so tough to think about anyone giving up a pet they love so much, much less someone i know and love.
sounds like you have a great grasp of things to try, things that put all of your best interests at top priority, so i'm hoping that that is the best of all worlds. all will end up happier and healthier b/c of it. fingers crossed.
~mk

Roger said...

sorry to hear anne

Mary Campbell said...

Oh my goodness...I am sending such positive thoughts your way for the next week. I cannot imagine the conflict you must feel (you know how much I love my babies)...you are such a kind and loving person and whatever decision you make will come from that pure, loving place...WHATEVER decision that is and I believe you guys can do what it takes to keep both Bjorn and Anton safe and happy...

I know...that was a SUPER run-on sentence.

Nancy said...

Anne,

If anyone can make this work, you can. Dad and I are praying for you four.

love, mom

heighlo. said...

Best of luck to you this week! I hope you find some strategies that work for you and keep YOUR sanity. I am trying to keep my sanity with an elderly cat that has just changed all the rules and it is tough!