Friday, December 08, 2006
I should be in bed by now but I need to share with you all what it feels like to watch your baby learn how to smile. Smiling expresses pleasure and it's the most wonderful gift to give another person. Smile at them. My friend Tina says that when your baby smiles - it's pay day for you. Last night at 3AM, I woke up to feed Anton and he smiled at me BIG time. A full-faced smile with his mouth and eyes. He's an angel. There's nothing like the feeling you get when you know your child is content enough to smile and be sociable.
Taking care of Anton is getting way more fun these days. He's becoming more interactive - looks deeply into my eyes. Searches for me from across the room. Responds to my voice. Coos with pleasure.
What else is nice about Anton? He can sleep 8-9 hours straight at night, so we're all getting more sleep these days. This means my headaches are getting better and I continue to feel more grounded. I had another day with no headache this week. I will be so happy to have more of them.
I fit into my old "skinny" jeans this week. Boy, are they TIGHT, but I managed to squeeze into them. This is another happy milestone!
I am beginning to feel more like a mother. More capable. Less detached from people and my previous life. My worlds are meeting and I am beginning to believe that I can do this.
I AM doing it.
There is nothing like picking up your baby and resting his head on your neck. Feeling his hot breath whisper in your ear. Tiny little panting noises. He smells like vanilla. Sweet and warm and pudgy. Perfect little creature.
My Anton. My sweet boy. My life. My joy. My child. My boy.