Friday, July 31, 2009

Robert Lewis Stevenson's Night and Day




Oh, friends. What an amazing journey this life is. I am so lucky to be on the path. Debra did a remote session with me last week while I was away in Texas. We do this sometimes when either of us will be away. She can read me wherever we are. She takes notes. Then e-mails them to me. They never cease to take my breath away. And they always bring me one step closer to wellness. Closer to my True Self. Closer to god.

Here's what Tommy said to her (to me) during the session:
Tommy: "There is a blue book you've made recently that will be part of your coming inner work. I helped you make this book. Use this as your next book to take notes in after the curent one is full. You'll be opening to automatic writing and channeling support and assistance. You are never alone, and you are so loved. We breathe along with you and walk with you every step. You can open deeper and wider to us (Bopie) as you learn to trust yourself." Anne, I saw a hankerchief, pen, blue book (indigo?) with gold on the cover. A crown?

I was sitting in the parking lot at PC when I read this paragraph and whammy - started sobbing in the car. I went home later that night and found the book Tommy mentioned. I'd made it while sitting at Binders before a class. I'd gotten there early and was able to start this new kind of structure for an hour or two - all by myself before class began. It was peaceful. I had forgotten what I'd put on the inside front and back covers - a Robert Lewis Stevenson poem. Tommy's the sparrow. I'm the maid. And we're growing a new garden - my Awakening. And it's all so damn beautiful I can barely stand it.

I don't know yet what the 87 signifies. But when I do, I'll be sure to tell you. My first book of notes is almost full. While I fill it up, I'll be looking for the perfect pen and hankie to go with it.

Thank you life. Thank you god.

Here's the whole poem:

Night and Day

When the golden day is done,
Through the closing portal,
Child and garden, flower and sun,
Vanish all things mortal.
As the blinding shadows fall,
As the rays diminish,
Under evening's cloak, they all
Roll away and vanish.

Garden darkened, daisy shut,
Child in bed, they slumber_
Glow-worm in the highway rut,
Mice among the lumber.
In the darkness houses shine,
Parents move with candles;
Till on all, the night divine
Turns the bedroom handles.

In the darkness shapes of things,
Houses, trees and hedges,
Clearer grow; and sparrow's wings
Beat on window ledges.

These shall wake the yawning maid;
She the door shall open—
Finding dew on garden glade
And the morning broken.

There my garden grows again
Green and rosy painted,
As at eve behind the pane
From my eyes it fainted.

Just as it was shut away,
Toy-like, in the even,
Here I see it glow with day
Under glowing heaven.

Every path and every plot,
Every bush of roses,
Every blue forget-me-not
Where the dew reposes.

"Up!" they cry, "the day is come
On the smiling valleys:
We have beat the morning drum;
Playmate, join your allies!"

Till at last the day begins
In the east a-breaking,
In the hedges and the whins
Sleeping birds a-waking.

-Robert Lewis Stevenson

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Buffalo

Very close to the Buffalo out at the Double B Ranch. It was beautiful but got scary as we were trying to leave. We ended up putting the food behind us and gunning it. I felt a little foolish for bringing Anton out there with us. The next morning I went out again to face my fears - it was just as beautiful and I practiced peace in spite of fear. Don't know if I got it right but dang, it moved me.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Lime



This hot zingy green little book makes me want to drink a shot of tequila with lime and salt. Mmmmmn.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Stack


This is the last of the series of photos I'll post of the works I've got up for sale at Paper Affair. I love looking at all that stitching. Lots of color. Lots of love.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Secret Belgian Bound Book



This pattern for the Secret Belgian Binding can be found here. A good bookbinding friend nudged me this way so we tried it out in class one day. Tons of fun once you get the hang of it. I love the sturdy spine and dense colors of this new series I'm working on. Bought a bunch of vintage knitting and crochet mags and patterns, mixing them with contemporary imported paper and brightly intense colors and vahhhhvoooooooom you have more love on paper.

I'm out in Texas this week with my Houston cousins. We're at the Double B ranch in Kerrville. Delightful. I've been bookin' on the books.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

More Robert Lewis Stevenson


What a charmer he must have been to inspire such beautiful illustrations. Get this charmer at Paper Affair Peachtree Battle.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Petit Blue Fleur



Okay I don't speak french but this pattern feels so french to me. Don't know why. But I also have this pattern in green. Get it at Binders. And of course - it's for sale at Paper Affair!

Monday, July 20, 2009

Pink, green and brown.



This one's from a pretty little pink and brown harlequin gift bag I cannibalized into you guessed it, another book! Look for it at Paper Affair. I've sold three of them already! Woo hoo!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Church



I've done it. Not that any one of you knows, but heck - making it public feels cathartic, so I'll tell you. I'm no longer a Christian. No longer a follower of Christ. No longer affiliated with any religious organization. I've divorced myself from the god I thought I knew. And right now, I know nothing. If feels liberating. It feels terrifying. It's completely new for me. And exciting in that way. But FUCK, it's time I grew up and stopped oiling the machine my family said was God.


Oh, and I'm angry. Heh. Can you tell?


On the flip side of all this anger and rage is this new life I'm building to replace the old one that was never mine to begin with. This beautiful image was done by a student named Patrick. Every quarter I give an assignment called the God Poster, where everyone assesses their own spiritual beliefs and cranks out a poster. This was as study he did, and I've kept it for over a year. It hangs in my studio now.


The definition of church has always perplexed me. I never really believed that God only showed up on Sunday mornings, but you can bet I felt the peer pressure of attending church as I knew it back then. I was told that Jesus never listened to angry rock and roll music and that my mohawk in high school reflected badly on my family and the church. I was taught shame and guilt and the ever necessary duty and obligation an only daughter, middle child must carry. And I carried that torch up until two weeks ago. Since then you should see what my stomach has done to me. It's been horrific.


I contacted the church I grew up in, was confirmed in, married in, buried my beloved brother and grandfather in, to tell them goodbye. I did it in love. Without rage or much of a fuss. That evening as I drove to Binders to teach another class (which by the way IS church to me) I cried and cried and shook while clutching the steering wheel and nearly threw up right there on the dashboard of my red minivan.


Saying goodbye to St. Patrick's is the bravest thing I've ever done. I imagine this year will be filled with many other brave steps. So look out world. Catch me if you see me falling too hard.


But dang. Having reached my fortieth birthday with a list of the following really woke me up to the realization that my beliefs about myself, my past, my future and my god just weren't good for me anymore. Since seeing Debra, an emotional intuitive and performance coach, she and I have worked together to find the source of my daily headaches, tail bone pain, blood clots, TMJ, stuttering, acne, migraines, placenta previa, hypertension, and general misery. I'm the sickest forty-year-old I know. I would like to point the finger at one source of all my pain - but really, I signed up at conception for my path and I'm going to continue walking it in joyful responsibility for myself.


So! Here's the part where channel Zoro.

Ask me if I've had a migraine in the past 3 months. NO. (slice through the air!)

Tailbone pain greatly decreased. YES. (another whip through the air!)

Ask me if I've picked up knitting again because my hands no longer hurt. YES. (here I pick up my knitting needles and whooooosh them in the air!!)


I think I am finally beginning to realize who I really am, who I am not, who has failed me, how I have failed myself, who god is to me, who god is not.


I do believe that Jesus of Nazareth was greatly illuminated. I believe I am as much a daughter of god as he claims to be his son. I think all the creatures we worship in so many different ways all round this beautiful world are god. We are all god. I want to love god. I want to know god. Our parents became god to us from birth on. It's only natural to look to them for guidance as our first instinct is to survive. Today I release the myth of god my parents offered me. Today I release myself from anything and everything I thought I knew, thought I cherished, thought would keep me safe, thought I feared.


I open to the big scary nothingness of letting go. I seeing this moment of being lost. I let it take me. I let it guide me. I'll allow myself to fall, to offend, to cry out, to scream and to howl like the angry, beautiful, passionate beast that I am.


I will never, ever tell Anton who god is. Ever. I'll tell him to rather look into his own heart, his own hands, his beautiful face, whether it be sad or angry or joyful. The church would have us believe that we and god are separate. We are not. Never have been. How can you be separate from yourself? It's just not possible.


Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Tiffany Bag 2


Another sample of a Tiffany Bag's second life as a little book cover. This time with a vintage suggestion that dogs should be trained. Want it? Go to Peachtree Battle's Paper Affair.




Monday, July 13, 2009

Kate Spade



I have no idea if Kate Spade likes animals or not, but here is one of her bags lovingly wrapped around a book cover with a cat on the back and a spritely little doggie on the back. For sale at the Peachtree Battle Paper Affair.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

American Biscuit




I still, for the life of me, can't figure out why there's a parrot on this biscuit label. Anyway, you can buy this one at my next craft show called Building Bridges at the Bobbe Gillis Gallery.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Special Day




For sale at Paper Affair in the Peachtree Battle shopping center. The cover stock is from Binders, whose selection is just as yummy as that chocolate scallop you see on the inside.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Lassie with Red Scallop






From another vintage children's illustrated storybook. Here's Lassie dancing with butterflies.
Look for it soon at Paper Affair Peachtree Battle.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Robert Lewis Stevenson Book

Here's a new beauty for sale soon on the shelves of Paper Affair Peachtree Battle.
This book is covered with vintage illustrations of Robert Lewis Stevenson's beautiful poetry.